I’ve decided to use a different blogging software.
As much as I love WordPress, I really want to get the ball rolling. And a problem like this makes me sad.
Browsing the forum, I attempted to bump up the memory usage on my install to see if that was the issue.
I installed the Memory Bump plugin, and added
define('WP_MEMORY_LIMIT', '64M');
To my wp-config.php file, and there hasn’t been a difference. Comments are still disabled on Posts, no matter what I do.