significant issues

I am having a few issues. First it will not allow me to update or add a new plug-in. The buttons to do so are simply missing.
I can see this message: WordPress 3.9.1 is available! Please notify the site administrator. I click that and it gives instructions to update but I can not do it.
in addition. I am using a theme through into the darkroom. I can log in through that site but if I go to wordpress itself and try to login it does not recognize me. Please please help.