renovate comments area part 2

OK, I figured out how to do some of the stuff I wanted, but I am seeing that the rest of what I want to do is contained wholly in the comments_form, which I can’t touch.

Specifically, I want to move p.comment-notes from below the title to below the email entry field.

I am using the first code provided here:
https://wordpress.org/support/topic/change-comments-form/
to re-order the fields … but it doesn’t seem to affect the p.comment-notes text, which remains at the top. So I guess I am using the wrong word. I have tried both
$comment_notes_field = $fields['comment_notes'];
and
$comment_notes_beforefield = $fields['comment_notes_before'];

What is the correct secret word? Or how can I do this?

I also want to either have an asterisk beside the Comments label (because that’s required too, right?) or to remove the asterisk from the others and change the text to read ‘all fields required’.

I can use the second code on that page to change the field labels, to add an asterisk to the Comment label, but I’d prefer to remove the asterisk altogether and change the text to read ‘All fields required’. But I can’t figure out how to change the required text.

How do I change the ‘Required fields are marked *’ text?

I have tried using the comment_form_defaults hook, but all I’ve been able to change is the title. Everything else I attempt remains the same, or removes all formatting and just drops it in as plain text.

Thanks!