It appears to have cleared up. I’m not sure what happened. I re-upgraded via WPAU and everything went off without a hitch. The plugins were not automatically re-enabled, and k2 broke, but otherwise everything seems fine.
The URLs are:
http://blog.severeanomaly.org/wp-login.php
http://lifezlikethat.severeanomaly.org
I think there is a typo in the URLs I posted earlier.
I know it is impossible to reproduce the issue without a login, however, I cannot add a new user to the database without logging in. If anyone can tell me how to set it up from the backend, I could set up a test login to debug the issue.