I made a stupid mistake, which may be of value to someone else–
I have a plugin installed to provide a special iphone/touch/mobile them for such browsers. I was inserting the code into header.php via the dashboard to my main theme. Of course, that never comes up when accessing the site via iphone, hence no icon.
I found the iphone’s header.php by digging around in my plugins directory (there are several iphone plugins out there, so you’ll have to look).
