You’ll get better support on BP issues if you go to http://buddypress.org/support. Be sure to provide info on your WP/BP versions, and what theme you currently have activated (you’ll only see the Compatibility menu if you’re NOT running a child of bp-default).
I think I did the same mistake. I missed the part where it says “Requires BuddyPress”, as I figured this to be a prepping stage I’d go through before installing BuddyPress.
After installing BuddyPress the link shows up under “Appearance” as expected.
I have the same problem here, BUT, I’ve installed BP first.
Using Hybrid as Framework.
Any clue?