Sorry, if I was a creep I'd be calling you names or ignoring your requests. You're using a self hosted WordPress install, and with that brings responsibilities and it's a sign that you're at least willing to get your hands dirty maintaining your website.
The first line of the instructions asks you to remove a single line from a single file, wp-config.php - use your ftp client to find it, edit the file, and upload it again. That will be enough to get your site back to working order. It's presumed that when you have a self hosted WordPress site that you can use ftp or other basic tools.