Turning off all comments in one fell stroke?

I will be offline for an undetermined amount of time when I move this December. And to make sure that I don’t get uninvited guests while I’m away I would like to turn off all my comments.
Of course I would like to turn them back on again when I get back, so if it’s possible to store the current state of the comments (since some are already closed) and then return to those when I get online again, that would be perfect!
Any takers?