Simple single page media (just a big picture!)

Hi,

What I’m trying to do seems like it should be very simple… But I can’t figure out how to do it, or find any themes that will let me!

All I want is a site which is one page, and which is basically just one big picture which fills the browser, and barely anything else (later in the life of the site I will probably change this big picture to a big embedded video).

WordPress, and its attendant themes, insist on giving too many features on this site, which are then very hard to get rid of. For example, I don’t want a nav bar! There doesn’t seem to exist a WordPress theme which gives you the option of removing the nav bar! I don’t want pages and posts. It’s just a massive picture!

If I could float a couple of buttons (with pretty low opacity) over the top of it, that would be cool. I don’t really want it to be able to do anything else, though, and any other features would be distracting.

Please tell me how I could make something so absurdly simple that when you put in the site URL you are just shown a big picture (or video) and nothing else, and there aren’t any other options or distracting other features.

Thanks,
Kit