Nice work @btlewand! Your case must be an isolated incident since I don't have any table entries in wp_woocommerce_downloadable_product_permissions. Question: Do you have any downloadable products? I don't in my store.
*Moderators, this is a great example of why a forum exists. So we can help each other. It would have saved some time if we didn't have the pissing contest over the rules. I don't say this to be cantankerous though - only to say maybe it's worth seeing an exception to the rules or considering that the old way isn't always the best way.