I messed up good.
So this is what I have done:
I installed WP on my localhost. I exported my current WP database using a plugin thingy I found around here. Then I imported it to my localhost using phpmyadmin. For some reason, it imported all of my preferences too, so my localhost blog pointed to my *real* blog whenever I tried to edit it. So I went into my *real* blog and changed those preferences to point to my localhost, so that I could make my localhost preferences point to the localhost. I then successfully changed my localhost preferences to point to the localhost — only now they BOTH point to the localhost, and I cannot update or change my real blog. I get rerouted to my localhost every time. I cannot find where these preferences are stored, so I cannot change them manually.
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