Hey Ari, this is yourself responding to your own question. Congratulations on finally figured out this Son of a "better left unsaid." So here is deal boys are girls and geeks of all ages. If you are "dumb" like I am and are trying to teach this stuff to yourself and only have this crazy mess of blogs through perhaps this will save you the 3 or so hours I have spent going insane.
When using the get_header function, wp catergorizes your custom headers in special way. Let's say you want to create a header for your home page, a header for your blog page, and a header for your content pages. You could title them respectively:
When you are using the get_header function you would call the your custom headers like this:
get_header ( "homepage" ), get_header ( "blog" ). get_header ( "content").
IN OTHER WORDS AND WHAT REALLY F-ED ME UP: YOU DON'T PUT THE HEADER PART AGAIN INSIDE THE " ". YOU ONLY PUT THE NAME LIKE, "blog", "content", "homepage", or whatever name you want. IN OTHER OTHER WORDS:
NAME OF PHP HEADER: header-customheader.php
HOW TO WRITE IT:
YES: get_header ( "customheader" )
NO: get_header ( "header-customheader" )
NO: get_header ( "header-customheader.php" )
NO: get_header ( "customheader.php" )
NO: anything else