Oops. Sorry about that. I feel like I've been some kind of annoyance now, y'know asking for help and all. (oh jeez, that sounded like an insult... it's not)
Anyway, I figured out part of the solution I think.
In file "edit-page-form.php", starting around line 67 the describer for the "Parent Page" drop down menu code is listed there and it looks like...
<fieldset id="pageparent" class="dbx-box">
<h3 class="dbx-handle"><?php _e('Page Parent') ?></h3>
<div class="dbx-content"><select name="parent_id">
<option value='0'><?php _e('Main Page (no parent)'); ?></option>
<?php parent_dropdown($post->post_parent); ?>
The key line here is:
<option value='0'><?php _e('Main Page (no parent)');
If you just change the option value to whatever page you want the example:
If I wanted the page whose location is "http://website/wp/?page_id=666" you would change that line to read
<option value='666'><?php _e('The Satan Page!');
That last page is just the text that the drop down box lists as default.
Now, this remove the ability to make new pages that have no parents. This isn't a problem in my case, I have a copy of the original code saved so I can just upload it elsewhere, password protect that page, and just go to whenever I want to make a parent-less page. Not something I really need to do and it's worth it for this quick fix.
If you have a better solution please list it here, not just for me but also for anyone else who has a similar need. I'll update this if I think it's needed.