THE FIX: (At least, how I made it work better for me)
1. Go to Technorati and get a developer API key.
2. Open the file
/wp-admin/index.php in a text editor.
3. Find the link to the technorati feed in that source code around line 88.
4. Replace that line with this one (this is all one line, trust me):
$rss = @fetch_rss('http://api.technorati.com/cosmos?key=PUT_YOUR_API_KEY_HERE&url=' . get_option('home') . '&type=weblog&format=rss');
5. Insert the API key you obtained into the line above as marked.
6. Save and enjoy.
What works for me might not work for you, but at least the links won't be totally wonky.
Technorati API Docs: http://developers.technorati.com/wiki/TechnoratiApi
Technorati API Keys issued here: http://technorati.com/developers/apikey.html