Changing header color and size

I guess its the header or whatever. I am not good at this. its the top inch or so of the site where you put your logo. anyway, how do i change the color of that? its grey and i want it black. also, it is really big. is there any way to make the height of it not so tall? thanks

also, where do i get the top menu bar? i have looked for days and cant get that going