So I solved the Visual Editor problem in IE 9 - and only IE 9, ugh! using compatibility mode after none of the following worked on a Windows 7 System:
(The load-scripts.php?load=jquery has displayed text every time.)
Upgraded really, really old Java.
I installed Silverlight.
I ran IE with minimal security and protected mode off.
I cleared caches.
Flash was up to date.
No security software, ad blockers.
And poof, click "compatibility mode" and it works. What about compatibility mode would get this working again?