Updating to WP 3.4.1

I have an issue… hopefully someone can help me.

We installed a new theme (not sure if this has anything to with it, but figured I should add it in). Afterwords, it was stating we would have to update our wp and database. We did the WP first, then it states it done and we now need to update the db.. We click the button, and my partner read that due to the amount of data in our db that it could take a while… we went to bed and figured everything would be done in the AM.. Well we went back to the site, logged in, and got the message again that we need to update our db, click this button. So I figured that maybe something went wrong through the night… clicked it again, waited four hours and check, back to “need to update your db”. I am at a loss, my site looks like crap, and there is nothing we can do until the “database” is updated, as it is the only screen that shows up in admin… Please help!!