I could kiss you. That was PERFECT. I tried so many different things. I had given up hope.
to add just a little bit more info, using Firebug you can figure out what the current page item is for each menu item. So for wambamboo he needed to use
#access ul li.current-menu-item.page-item-10 But that will change for every page.
So the only part of the code that will really work universally is
#access ul li.current-menu-item.page-item-XX
Change XX to your current page number.
I think there should be a special kind of punishment for people who ask a question on a support forum, find an answer on their own, let everyone know they found an answer AND THEN DON'T SHARE THE ANSWER. [head-slap]