I ended up abandoning posts. I had the Ambrosite Next/Previous Post plug in working well, but then when I installed the Page version of that plug in, I couldn't get it working right and got to response from the developer for support. So, I decided not to use posts at all, and instead just use pages. I'm using two different plug ins and playing around with them...Multi Page Toolkit and Easy Paginator ($17). Multi page took kit uses the Nextpage thing to break up a long page into sub pages. Easy paginator turns it into a slideshow, which looks really nice, but as of yet you can't click on the individual screens, which they are changing now and hopefully in a few weeks will have an upgraded version where the slides are individually listed sort of as if they were pages, and clickable/linkable which is what I need them to be. But I like the way it looks and functions. It's an easy tag you add, like Next page, but EAP Divider.
I couldn't get Wp Navi to work with Graphene even though it's built into it as a friendly plug in. In a week have gotten no answers on the Graphene forum about why it might not be working. So gave up on that too.
I've found the pagination issue to be a huge pain in the butt. Not sure why it has to be so complicated to do something so basic or so hard to find the right solutions and implement them.
What I'm trying to do is clearly common...write a multi page article, break it into linkable/clickable chunks. In a perfect world I'd have a few different templates to make it easy. I am using "Article Templates" plugin but the author has been unable to update it for some time so you have to fuss with it a little to get it to work. I"d like one that was a visual drag and drop chunks, sort of like widgets, where you could easily see an article template visually and easily call photos/write the text chunks. I mean if my articles will always take one of three formats, I'd like it to be easy to write them, not mucking around copying and pasting in the html view of the editor. I'd like a visually pleasing/easy drag and drop article builder/template thing, with the output looking like the nice Easy Paginator look and feel but clickable screens (which they are working on, the clickable part).
If anyone knows of a good article builder/template thing where the pagination makes sense as a multi page article please let me know :-)
And thanks for the ideas above, I'll check them out.