MY SON DIED. his site hasn't had WP updated since 2005. DISAPPEARING! HELP!

I am sorry to hear of your loss. 🙁

What version of WordPress is the site using?
http://codex.wordpress.org/FAQ_Installation#What_version_of_WordPress_do_I_have.3F

I’m asking because very old versions have to be updated differently.
http://codex.wordpress.org/Upgrading_WordPress_Extended#Detailed_Upgrade_Instructions_for_1.5.x.2C_and_versions_2.0_-_2.6.5.2C_to_3.9.1

See here for the full update instructions:
http://codex.wordpress.org/Updating_WordPress

If you’re not feeling up to the task ask your host if they can help you or hire a professional:
http://jobs.wordpress.net/