I'm having myriad problems, but let's start with one that looks like a gateway to solving others: my dashboard doesn't look anything like yours.
When I log on, my dashboard shows a menu bar and a history of recent WP upgrades among other stuff. But your written instructions show a much different creature with multiple tools and other useful stuff. I'm instructed on how to use this screen but given no clue how to make it appear.
I'm sure I'm doing something wrong. But what?