Going in circles folks. I swear I'm doing everything right and still NOTHING. So I'm going to walk you through exactly what I'm doing, hoping this reveals something.
Firstly, I'm a Mac OS 10.3 user with iPowerWeb as host, if that sets off any issues with other users off the bat.
1. I've successfully created a database and username.
2. Now I download the latest WP (1.2.2 Mingus) from this page: http://wordpress.org/download/
3. I carefully follow the instructions on wiki 5 minute install page:
4. One thing I couldn't quite do in these instructions lives is: "# On Mac OS X TextEdit is ideal for editing simple files like this (remember to choose Plain Text from the Format Menu)." The truth is no such option exists in the format menu of TextEdit.
HMMM: However it DOES exist in preferences, and it was defaulted to RICH TEXT instead of plain text.
5. Here's what I changed:
// ** MySQL settings ** //
define('DB_NAME', 'account_homepagewp'); // The name of the database
define('DB_USER', 'account_username'); // Your MySQL username
define('DB_PASSWORD', 'password'); // ...and password
define('DB_HOST', 'localhost'); // 99% chance you won't need to change this value
6. Saved changed file to name: wp-config.php
(Because of discovery in #4, I changed said file AGAIN and reuploaded it seperately. That's cool, right? It doesn't need to be uploaded with the folder to work?)
6. I aimed the file at:
RESULT: same messages!