Okay, while this can be therapeutic up to a point, we've well and truly left kayrich's original problem in the dust and this thread stopped being productive a while ago.
Starting from the top:
If you have 3.5 issues as stated review the 3.5 Master List.
Really do that. It may help you if you want to solve your problem. There's no magic bullet and self-hosting your own WordPress sometimes does take work. That includes reading "a three thousand word help document".
That's not something recommended by an "Artificial Intelligence bot" that's what we unpaid volunteers recommend as an effective solution to your problem. This is a volunteer self-help community driven support forum and that requires your involvement to help us help you.
"Help me help you" does sound very Jerry Maguire but it's true. ;)
That can help you find what the issue is with your installation and then you can work on solving your problem.
WHY does WordPress always update without thoroughly testing everything?
That's 100% not the case and this release was tested and vetted. Sorry but that's the truth.
If this isn't solved in 24 hours, I'll have no choice but to move all my sites to Blogger.
I'm truly sorry you feel that way. If you do go that route then I'm sure Blogger will assist you with that import into their system.