OHMYGOD THIS ACTUALLY WORKED!!!!!!!!!!
Two Go Daddy techs... 22 different documents... 5 forum posts... 11 well-meaning but unhelpful responses... almost 10 hours... and more wild goosechases than I cared to keep track of...
YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy I could cry. Literally. You are my favorite person on all of planet earth right now. My gratitude could not be sufficiently expressed in a forum post.
I wish you a weekend filled to overflowing with everything that you consider to be joyful and fulfilling. You deserve it because that is what you have just given to me.
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou
HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!